Flying Debris

It rained all the way through the first summer I was back here. The continuous rain kept the water levels high in the tanks (ponds) for a couple weeks at a time before evaporation could catch up. So when my mom drove up one day and told my grandpa there was a dead cow in one of our tanks, we knew she’d been there for a couple weeks.

Obviously we had to get the cow out or she would contaminate the water. A few ropes, the 4 wheeler, a really really long pole, and drove out to the tank. From what we could see, the cow had waded out and maybe got struck by lightning. The water level had gone down enough that the length of her back was barely visible about 15 feet out.

I immediately began to calculate - length of pole vs. distance between dead cow and shore.

It would be a reach but I figured my mom and I could wade out a few feet and stretch far enough to use the stick to loop the rope around the cow’s head.

This little plan quickly went to shit when I realized the cow’s head was under water. Ever tried to rope something under brown water with a 12′ stick?
Ropes don’t sink, they float.

See where this is going…?
Apparently my mom did because when I turned around she was already back at the pick-up. Her head was barely visible over the hood and steadily shaking from left to right. …guess this means she’s not up for a swim.

I mentioned it was mid-summer?
dead cow under water for about 2 weeks?
ok yeh, I did.

How did it end?
Let’s just say I showered for 2 hours straight, and hell will freeze over 10 times before so much as my big toe ever goes swimming again.

my mom…the next day she drove her riding mower to my house and mowed my yard without my knowing it, guess she thought she owed me one.
she did.

Tags: Miscellany //